Tag Archives: purity

DRESSing Respectably

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modestyThe homecoming season is upon us and dress shopping is well underway for many teenage girls. It saddens me that what was once an opportunity to get all dressed-up and feel beautiful and fancy for an evening as now turned into a competition to who can wear the most provocative and “sexy” dress possible.  When did this change take place?  And why aren’t more parents taking a stand and commanding their daughters to turn away from this new trend and requiring their daughters to dress more appropriately?  Whatever happened to dressing modestly and demanding respect from boys?

What I want teenage girls (and their mommas) to understand is that wearing fancy dresses that are strapless, enhance and display your cleavage, or barely cover your backside, does NOT demand respect from your date.  As a matter of fact, when a boy sees so much bare skin around your shoulders, breasts, and legs, their minds automatically begin to undress you.  It’s too easy for them to mentally remove your clothes when you’re already half-dressed.  Surely this isn’t what you want from your date?  “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”  1 Corinthians 6:19-20.  If your body is a temple for God, would He be pleased that you are showing so much of your skin to someone other than your spouse?  Would the Lord God be pleased that your chosen dress for the evening was done with the intent to be “sexy” and to “tempt” teenage boys?

As Christians, we have two choices when dress shopping – we can pick a dress that is modest and pleasing in the eyes of our Lord OR choose to look sexy and invite temptation (also known as sin).  As a Christian, it is your duty to be fully clothed at all times, even for school dances like Homecoming and Prom.  If you want your date to treat you respectfully, you must help him keep his eyes on your face and his mind clear of sin.  Don’t be the temptation that allows our teenage boys to stumble.  Mommas, help your daughters be the princesses they’ve always wanted to be.

Finding a dress that is modest and beautiful is not difficult.  I’ve personally seen dresses that have straps, cover your breasts, are longer than two inches below your bottom, and do not reveal every curve of your teenager’s body.  Those dresses are out there!  Be in prayer for God to lead you to the right dress, to the right store, and to give you and your daughter wisdom and guidance when dress shopping.  Be honest with your daughter about choosing a dress; remind her that her body is a temple for the Holy Spirit and that they should adorn themselves with respectable clothing.  Teach them to want to be pleasing in the eyes of the Lord and to demand admiration and reverence from their dates.  Teach them to take a stand for Christ!

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You might also like:
1. Dating and Sexual Purity
2. Modesty and Swimwear
3. Testimony – A String Around My Heart
4. What Should I Wear to Church?
5. Christians and Modesty

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Dating and Sexual Purity

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LoveSexual purity seems like such a foreign concept in our current society but really the issue of sex, purity, and even dating needs to be talked about more often and even to every generation.  Sex has become so casual that we now see it boldly displayed on TV, in movies, plastered on billboards, in our hands on mobile devices, and even carelessly mentioned in songs that we sing.  The temptation to have sex before marriage is becoming more and more prevalent as images constantly infiltrate the minds of us all.  It’s past time we get back to the fundamentals of our biblical standards for sex and relationships.

Here is what the Bible says about purity:

1 Corinthians 6:18 – Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 – For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

Hebrews 13:4 – Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Matthew 5:28 – But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Colossians 3:5 – Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Galatians 5:19-21 – Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Proverbs 6:32 – He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.

And these verses are just to name a few!  The Bible is very firm on the commandment to remain pure and abstain from sexual immorality and lust.  Not in ANY verse in the Holy Bible will you find a divergence that allows for sex outside of marriage, for an approved opportunity to lust, or for the exception to adultery.  Purity is a commandment from God and we must adhere to the standards God has placed in our lives so that we may live righteously and pleasing in the eyes of God.  It’s the path best made for us, why would we not want this for ourselves?

Sex before marriage HAS and CAN ruin lives.  So how do we steer clear of the temptation and desires that society is persistently throwing in our face?  The best way to stay pure is to keep our hearts wholesome and avoid situations that make us think about taking that next step in a relationship.

For our family, this starts at dating.  We’ve remained very clear on our stance of dating in our home – if you aren’t looking for a lifetime spouse, then you should not be dating.  Simple solution!  The sole purpose of dating is to find a spouse and when you enter into a relationship, there our physical and emotional boundaries that will need to be set beforehand to guard to your heart.  If you always remain in a cluster of friends, these boundaries are never a factor to be considered.  Relationships are about commitments and our youth should not be making any sort of commitment to anyone, other than to God.  And even as adults, our first commitment is still to God, then our spouse.  Our hearts need to be mindful on living a Christ-like life and pleasing to our Father.  Matthew 5:8 reads, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”  We must trust God with ALL of our lives and ALL our hearts and when He sees fit that you are ready for marriage, He will show you the perfect helpmate.  Really, dating is not ever necessary if we fully rely on God and have faith that He will bring the perfect person before you.

We must want purity and clean hearts for our children.  We must talk about it, teach it, and live these same standards for the younger generations to see.  We teach our children to not put themselves in any situation where they will have to decide which path to take.  We teach our children that they were created in the image of God, that they are enough, and that they do not need to seek the approval of anyone other than Jesus Christ.  We teach our children that satan is real and he will use every opportunity to hinder their walk with Christ and want nothing more than to lead them down an ugly path and away from Jesus.  We teach them to rely on Christ daily and in all circumstances.

Passion and sex is a beautiful thing, no question about it.  It is a gift from God… but to be used with our spouse.  This does not just imply sex, but emotional attachments as well.  Any attachment made to a person outside of marriage, changes your life and satan will use these past experiences to haunt you and tempt you as an adult.  He has used this tactic for centuries and you will not be exempt from his schemes.  He isn’t creative!  He simply twists God’s truths and we continue to cling to those lies with excuses – God wants us to love others; God created sex; What if this person I’m dating is the right one; But we’ve setup boundaries; etc. If you have to “guess” if someone may be the one, then they aren’t.  Have faith in Him.  Trust God with your life and follow His prompting to remain pure in heart, mind, and body.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”  When you are tempted, stop and listen to the direction God wants for you.  Your body is a temple for God, treat it with respect and pleasing in the eyes of our Father.

For those who have already made this decision, you need to accept God’s grace and redemption for your life.  We all fail; we all attempt to walk a path that we think is best for us.  Christ came for us and died on the cross for our sins.  He shed His blood for all sin.  God knows we can’t walk this life alone and sometimes He allows us to make our own negative choices so that we can fall and come to see our need for Him.  While He doesn’t want us to fail or see us hurt, He allows us free will so that we can recognize our need for a Savior.  You can tell your testimony and be a light to those who are struggling.

Psalm 119:133 – Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.

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Modesty and Swimwear

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bubbleframe (9)As my daughter gets older, the bathing suit choices of girls (and women) is becoming more and more of a concern to me.  We’ve chosen to teach modesty in our household, not because we want to be different but because we desire to adhere to biblical standards and want our children to learn to respect themselves for the beautiful person God created them to be (Genesis 1:27).  We want our children to find a helpmate that loves them for their personality and morals rather than finding a partner based on pure physical attraction.  We understand this is contrary to the modern worldview and we’re okay with this.  We don’t desire to be pleasing to man, but to God alone.  After all, we will answer for our lives and choices to God, not man.

Let’s look at what the Bible says about our clothing choices (and this includes bathing suits):

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”  1 Timothy 2:9-10

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”  1 Corinthians 6:19-20

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  Proverbs 31:30

“For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.” 1 John 2:16

“A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.” Deuteronomy 22:5

It makes my heart so sad to see our children dressed in skimpy bikinis and taking pictures of themselves for all the world to see.  What then are we teaching our children?  We’re merely teaching them that their body is needed to attract the attention of the boys.  We’re teaching them that they need to wear less to acquire beauty.  We’re teaching them that it’s okay to flaunt their bodies and be lusted over by boys.  We’re teaching them, at an early age, to find joy in being lusted over.

And what about the women in our society?  We must be held accountable as well!  When we choose to wear so little in terms of clothing and bathing suits, it’s what our daughters will do as well.  We need to be teaching them to love themselves as God made them.  Not only do we live in a world where the eyes of young men are lustful, but older men as well.  Shouldn’t we be protecting them and loving them enough to clothe them appropriately and keeping them from the eyes of predators?  Women, we too must obey the commands of God and be examples for the younger girls.  We must wear appropriate swimwear and abstain from taking pictures of our less-than-dressed-bodies (also known as soft porn for boys and men).  We must accept our bodies and love ourselves enough.  We must teach our daughters that they are worthy, that they are enough, and that they were created in the image of God.  We must teach them, that as Christians, the Holy Spirit resides in their body and that they are a temple for God and they must clothe themselves respectably in the eyes of God.  We must lead by example and help them understand that the way NOT to find a suitable helpmate is for the first interactions to be based on lust and sexual attraction.

The Bible warns us about tempting others in Matthew 18:6-9, “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. ‘Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.’”

Do we not realize that when we wear so little that we are causing our Christian brothers to stumble in their walk?  Do we not realize that when our daughters wear so little that they are causing young men to stumble in their walk and that these young men will be the very men our daughters will one day marry?  We must do everything to stop our children from stumbling in their walks with Christ.  We must stop our young men from lusting over our daughters’ bodies.  We must prevent our children from lust and sexual temptations.  And we must love our children enough to walk alongside them in biblical standards.

And men, I challenge you to lead your family as Christ lead the church (Ephesians 5:23).  Hold your wife accountable for her clothing and bathing suit choices.  Do you want other men (and young boys) looking at her with lustful eyes?  Do you want your daughter wearing less than appropriate and attracting undue attention of boys who will clearly not be thinking Godly thoughts about her?  Stand up for your faith!  Stand up for your family!  This is your charge as a husband and father!

I dare you ladies… I dare you women of God… to stand firm in your faith, to be convicted by the Holy Spirit to change your appearance at the pool.  I dare you to teach your daughter modesty.  Let’s be the change!  Let us represent Christ, even at the pool.

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2. Christians and Modesty
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5. The Fight Against Human Trafficking

Christians and Modesty

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modestyFashion and modesty are almost an oxymoron these days, with the latest trends getting more and more revealing.  But fashion and modesty don’t have to be difficult!  As Christians, people are constantly watching our behavior and this sets the tone for how others perceive our faith.  Modest dress is the first visible appearance of our faith and is equally as important as our words when witnessing to others.

What advice does the Bible provide about modesty?

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”  1 Timothy 2:9-10

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”  1 Corinthians 6:19-20

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  Proverbs 31:30

“For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.” 1 John 2:16

“A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.” Deuteronomy 22:5

It’s important to remember, Christians will always be watched and judged and often times our biblical beliefs will be challenged.  What kind of testimony are we sharing when we preach words about purity and righteousness and then turn around and dress the opposite of what scripture demands?  We must make sure our words and actions match and we must not be hypocritical and contradictory.   Our bodies are a temple for the Holy Spirit, we must dress pleasing to our God, not our fellow man.

It’s also important to remember this scripture, But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” Matthew 5:28.  We must be sure that our dress is not with the intent to attract the eyes of others or to make other envious.  Ask yourself… do you really want to date or marry a man who was first attracted to you with lustful intentions?  Our dress should not be attracting undue attention to our bodies, and more importantly, our dress should not be the reason we make men stumble in their walk.

As believers, we are given divine discernment.  Holy Spirit will reveal to you what is appropriate and what is not.  Are you dressing to impress others?  Are you dressing elaborately to show wealth or stature?  Are you dressing as a lady?  If you have to think about what you are wearing, God is speaking to you.  If you think that “maybe” your bikini will attract unnecessary glances, God is speaking to you.  If you are wondering if your dress is too short or your shirt is too low, God is speaking to you.  Girls and women can still be fashionable in today’s world without wearing inappropriate clothing.  But we must use our discernment that God has provided to us as believers.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we present the image of God who created beauty and we must always be willing to do good works when He calls on us.  He will not call on us if we are not first dressed according to His words.  Our faith starts with our outward appearance.  Modesty is a mindset of the heart, always seeking to give God the glory and flows from the heart in doing God’s will.

You might also like:
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4. Dating and Sexual Purity
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Say NO to Girl Scouts

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Did you know Girl Scouts is affiliated with Planned Parenthood?  Parents pushing those cookies may tell you the money goes towards their daughter’s camp fees or troop fees.  But ultimately, ANY moneys given to the Girl Scouts association (including that $12 registration fee every year) is in the hands of the Organization to spend or donate as they wish.  A parent or troop leader doesn’t have the final say (or any say for that matter) to where those moneys are allocated.

A parent or troop leader may tell you that the money donated to Planned Parenthood isn’t for abortions, but for well woman exams or even birth control.  Girl Scouts does not have the authority to spend Planned Parenthood’s money.  Regardless, any money given to Planned Parenthood frees those funds for exams and birth control so that they can perform more abortions at a bottom price.

Girl Scouts has partnered with Planned Parenthood in many ways – they have distributed materials that promote sexual content, birth control options, reproductive rights, and pregnancy alternatives with Planned Parenthood listed as a “helpful link”.  Girl Scouts also presents many pro-abortion and pro-homosexual role models and guest speakers.  You can also find the Girl Scouts logo on various Planned Parenthood brochures.

Think about that for just a second.  We’re spending money on Girl Scout cookies for the GSA to teach our daughters about sexual education and then those dollars are turned around and spent at abortion clinics?  “From 2008 to 2009, Planned Parenthood received $363 million in government grants and contracts — our tax dollars. During the same time period, they destroyed the lives of 324,008 unborn babies.”  Do you want your money going to the education of sexual promiscuity and pregnancy alternatives to young girls and teens?

I don’t agree with the Girl Scouts agenda and it is our duty to continue telling people about this cause.  I believe in teaching sexual purity, however difficult it may be to attain, and I believe in teaching my children to love themselves as God made them.  I don’t need a troop of any kind to do this for me.

For those seeking alternatives to the fellowship of girls along with Christian fellowship, look into American Heritage Girls or Little Flowers Girls Club.  You can also stand up for your faith and host your own Cookies for Life campaign.

For those who believe Girl Scouts does so much good that it’s okay to ignore the bad, please pray about this.  Rather than spending money on cookies, spend your money wisely and send a youth to church camp.  Spend your time and make a better impact and take a youth horse back riding, camping, or for a spa day.  No troop or organization can take the place of true relationships!

“So then brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.” 2 Thessalonians 2:15

“If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones…it would be better if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea.”  Matthew 18:6

Other references:
http://www.100questionsforthegirlscouts.org/100/
http://youtu.be/uZKiQub0ZnA – Girl Scouts CEO admits to relationship with Planned Parenthood
http://www.girlscoutswhynot.com/
http://www.cms.gov/Center/Provider-Type/Federally-Qualified-Health-Centers-FQHC-Center.html

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